kesengsaraan yang tidak terhingga
masih terdampar, masih terluka
walaupun langit t'lah menukar ke jingga
masih teringat waktu ketika
tiada arah
tiadalah penghujungnya
amatlah terasa
betapalah kuat hentamannya
my train of thoughts is just all over the place. I do not wish to open my mouth for i fear the words will unintentionally spill out and cause a ruckus. i would much rather moderate my typing.
i need rehab. i need to get my priorities straight. if i keep stressing about things that shouldn't even be on my mind in the first place, where will that bring me? it leaves me with no diresction nor any general idea of where i'm headed.
i need a navigator. a guiding light.
but somehow, my idea of a guiding light has deviated. from one end of the spectrum to the other and back again. it confuses me so.
i must sort myself out, no matter what.
sometimes i feel like i should just join those people whose lives are sooo straightforward. they choose to ignore everything other than studies. sure, theyre lifeless but they're the ones scoring the a's. they block off tv, computer and even guys.
tell my brain that, see if she obeys.
she's probably throw a hissy fit and just end up on strike.
i need a superlatively long talk with a bestie. one who can thoroughly understand me.
I need zoe): and val): why must they be so far away?
sometimes, i think twice talking to my close friends in school about this. i feel like, the ones im closest to have only known me for 2 years. max 4 years. and even then its like, they havent really seen me through those periods of turmoil like my pri sch besties did. they havent seen me grow up either, emotionally. sometimes i find it hard to open up 100%. idunno. this just sucks ):
